just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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