pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
people are starting to question the shark bite story
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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