I think i peed on brittanys purse
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
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You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just want to make out with him forever
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.