hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
