piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Randomize
