Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  New invention idea: vibrating tampons

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): New invention idea: vibrating tampons http://tfl.nu/xv0s
  Replies (36) Good night (3579) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single. http://tfl.nu/sipf
  Replies (46) Good night (838) Bad night (4110)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot http://tfl.nu/zopv
  Replies (60) Good night (923) Bad night (3999)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh... http://tfl.nu/to9x
  Replies (16) Good night (4711) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way. http://tfl.nu/w85x
  Replies (26) Good night (15084) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle. http://tfl.nu/61o1
  Replies (18) Good night (1090) Bad night (7804)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right?? http://tfl.nu/udb6
  Replies (31) Good night (7896) Bad night (1380)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday. http://tfl.nu/t9ad
  Replies (9) Good night (3748) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate. http://tfl.nu/wnmg
  Replies (11) Good night (1003) Bad night (5049)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting? http://tfl.nu/j29m
  Replies (11) Good night (2361) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us. http://tfl.nu/xpf1
  Replies (28) Good night (2213) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me. http://tfl.nu/h8vm
  Replies (5) Good night (2032) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving http://tfl.nu/l18z
  Replies (1) Good night (1292) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.

  (760): View more from California

  Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): He is just a personification of a vodka hangover. (760): Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes. http://tfl.nu/e8aw
  Replies (1) Good night (1100) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith. http://tfl.nu/2rsg
  Replies (6) Good night (604) Bad night (301)

Randomize