dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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