He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
