Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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