Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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  (214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8
  Replies (37) Good night (8261) Bad night (656)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.

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  (413): Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed. http://tfl.nu/2338
  Replies (20) Good night (5633) Bad night (633)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.

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  (518): I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly. http://tfl.nu/462q
  Replies (88) Good night (3977) Bad night (915)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg

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  (423): my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg http://tfl.nu/cjr9
  Replies (65) Good night (18609) Bad night (1292)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.

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  (404): my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles. http://tfl.nu/wcsn
  Replies (9) Good night (3476) Bad night (1047)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"

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  (970): But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed" http://tfl.nu/2s0k
  Replies (6) Good night (1088) Bad night (2640)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.

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  (512): Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor. http://tfl.nu/9a3p
  Replies (17) Good night (6870) Bad night (1546)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.

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  (912): Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here. http://tfl.nu/xdo1
  Replies (9) Good night (2310) Bad night (995)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music

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  (907): She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music http://tfl.nu/408g
  Replies (18) Good night (3634) Bad night (621)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.

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  (617): Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas. http://tfl.nu/mhor
  Replies (3) Good night (979) Bad night (519)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.

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  (817): I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult. http://tfl.nu/nj2j
  Replies (4) Good night (409) Bad night (793)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.

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  (605): I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST. http://tfl.nu/w1we
  Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary

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  (408): I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary http://tfl.nu/kxfy
  Replies (2) Good night (709) Bad night (228)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.

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  (801): I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta. http://tfl.nu/x5wu
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (340)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.

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  (205): It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life. http://tfl.nu/wzg9
  Replies (1) Good night (360) Bad night (150)

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