legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This Girlâ€™s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's so Britney 2007, you know?