We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
