They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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