is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
