I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
