Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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