Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
