Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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