what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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