I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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