we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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