Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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