She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
