I just threw up on my dentist
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
