So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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