Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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