when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
porn star boner night. come get it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
