my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
