Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
