you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
