She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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