I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I will be naked everywhere
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
