he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
