i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
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Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
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Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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