Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
do herpes really smell.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
