Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
