EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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