Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
