Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
