I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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