THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Two words: blizzard sex
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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