Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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