He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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