handjob tips. give me some.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
