i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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