New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
