oh god the rape fog is back!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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