Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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