There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
