there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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