I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
