do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
