I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
