We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
