I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize