he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
