i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
