i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
