absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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