Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
