I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
