Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
