she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
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was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
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So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
And then he peed in my hair
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