seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
