Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize