Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
