we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
